Murder Mystery Weekend

It's a weekend in August and I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm fed up with clubbing and chemicals. I want something different; something where I'm not banging my head to a rhythm that shakes the walls. Then someone told me about a themed weekend at The Fairhaven Hotel in Beeston (0115 922 7509). The theme was to be a Murder Mystery Weekend. Ah, I thought, lots of dotty old women running around in daft hats, long frocks and croquet mallets; I'll fit in like a diabetic at a Tate & Lyle refinery.
Imagine my surprise when I turned up, 5 fashionable minutes late, to find the hotel full of (fairly) young guys and girls fresh from Leicester's club scene. They'd already started the fun and frolics but it didn't take me long to catch up on the story line.
The weekend was supposedly one of the regular meetings of the Unexplained Phenomena Society (UPS), a group of like-minded individuals who were fascinated by UFO's, ghosts and things that go bump in the night. Conveniently (for the plot) the guest speaker that weekend was a police specialist seconded from Scotland Yard. We hadn't been there 20 minutes when the first victim fell through the door, covered in blood after having his throat cut. The policeman found several clues, along with personal profiles, which were pinned up for all to dissect. Much discussion ensued during which those of us that didn't know each other had ample opportunity to make new friends.
The exchanging of ideas was rudely interrupted when a bitch fight started between the current, pregnant, girlfriend of the victim and his ex-. The consensus was that the victim was at the centre of some sort of love triangle. Every permutation was explored, including some which can't be repeated, even in Hype. Then, just as we were venturing into the realms of the hard core pornographic, a second body was heard to fall down the stairs, covered in blood. The laundry bill for this weekend was going to be high.
Curiouser and curiouser, as Alice said. We racked our brains to find a link between the first and second murder. We were really getting into this Agatha Christie thing and I was beginning to feel a Poirot moment coming on. I had this overwhelming urge to lock everyone on a long distance train and prove the guilt of each participant according to their star status.
This thought was interrupted by the dinner gong and we all trooped into the dining room where we were able to interrogate the members of UPS on a more informal basis. It was over desert that we found out about the drug habit of one member; discovered the foul temper of another; and the drinking problem of a third. Mixed in with this was a fair sprinkling of child abuse, blackmail and confidence trickery. But we were no nearer nailing the murderer. Several of us had an inkling that one particular nasty bitch deserved to be the perpetrator, but we didn't have much evidence.
That theory was effectively shot down when she was found shortly after with a knife in her back, much to the delight of the assembled throng. Her death even occasioned a round of applause! In all the best murder stories the detective always says 'When the most obvious has been discounted then it must be the least obvious', and so it was with the Fairhaven Hotel Murders. I shan't give away the ending for you, suffice to say that we should all have been a little suspicious of the faint waft of lavender water at the scenes of each of the crimes.

I have to shamefacedly confess that, having gone along thinking it was a stupid idea for plonkers with nothing else to do of a weekend, I really enjoyed myself and look forward to the next one which is on Saturday 31st October. This Murder Mystery Weekend was a great way to get to know new people and was a right laugh into the bargain.

© Paul Towers August 1998